We are young wild and f r e e. Enduring Vs Living the Single Life

Have you ever been told that because you are young then you should not care, stay out all night, and date date date? I have. I have been told this many times. By close friends, through social media, and I have even said this to my self before.

Now, let’s back up right there… How did I get there? How did I at one point think it was okay to go about my love life by my own means? The only explanation I can come up with is that I was enduring singleness instead of really living my life to the fullest. I was looking left and right for answers, for a comforting word, for anything that would give me true peace and joy. I was in desperate need of attention.

Now, aiming to stay super real and vulnerable with you I will have to admit; I have not gotten this whole ‘being content in singleness’ thing figured out. There are moments of doubt, fear, and anxiousness. I will not sit here and give you a formula or recipe to never feel doubtful, fearful, or anxious. Because there really isn’t one. We are all human and we all have our ups and downs. (see below)

Although, I do want to share something with you in hopes that you too will have a perpetual ‘i am loved’ state of mind. That no matter what wilderness you are going through, you can too, have trust and faith in someONE so much bigger than us, someone so powerful, almighty, merciful, faithful, kind, loving, and I can keep on going on how great our God is. I am not promising a perfect life where nothing goes wrong, I am not saying that all the feelings mentioned above will disappear because trust me they will still sneak up on you when you least expect it.

The lies of the enemy are so subtle, they sneak up on you, planting a small seed that overtime only becomes self-destruction, it only leads you to pain, deception, and hurt. Because that is what the devil intends. I like the way Lauren Chandler puts it in her book, Steadfast Love:”Whether you know it or not, there is an enemy of our souls who hates steadfast anchors and loves to deceive us into trusting faux-anchors. (fake anchors) His desire to deceive is nothing compared to the steadfast love of the Lord. As we drop the anchor, we steady ourselves for an opposing current.”

Whether you know it or not. Stop right there. Think about that for a sec. Whether we know it or not the enemy is always trying to get us into that anxious state of mind. We sit there and feed into negative, doubtful thoughts and sure enough we end up enduring singleness. Only trying our best but eventually not feeling content, fulfilled, and whole as a single person. The problem is not feeling this way, the problem is feeding into it, digging ourselves into a hole where it is so hard to come out of.

I have been broken down, humbled, and the Lord has been able to really test my heart and what was in it. I did not realize this, I mean, I have always been a ‘church girl’ I have tried to do my best always but it was so much easier to give into sadness and anxiousness because my anchor was not in the Lord. I admit it, He was not first in my life. This really is what it comes down to. Who is in control of your life? Who is in your mind all the time? Who do you depend upon? Who do you follow? Who gives you joy and peace?

There is Someone that completely changed my life all around but staying on topic… my outlook on my love life. Someone who met me at my darkest, lowest, saddest. Someone who decided to reach out to me, to love me when I felt so unlovable. I didn’t know I had the answer all along. It was sitting beside my bed all these years, I had just not realized it. I found so many truths, truths that were proven to me in a real tangible way. I felt the true love, how He pursued me. I always read the Bible, but it rarely ever came alive, it rarely ever comforted me.  Ever since I gave my entire life to Him, when I read God’s word it comes alive every time. You know that verse, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” (See Psalm 119:105) ? THAT VERSE is foreal! His word is really a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. That is another topic for another day though.

God definitely used the time of brokenness and pain to bring me closer to Him. When i fell down to my knees, that’s when he met me. Right beside me, HE was there all this time. I have this hope as a sure and steadfast anchor of my soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain. (See, Hebrews 6:19)

God had revealed himself to me in many seasons of my life, I had seen His hand move in my life. But, I had not given Him control of every area. He used a break up to teach me that I had to let go of my pride. Through that break up I came back to His feet. More thirsty than ever, more desperate, seeking him whole heartedly. He met me. This is what I want you to take from this. He meets us at our darkest points in life and He gives us what is best for us. If we seek Him wholeheartedly, He reveals Himself. There really is no better place to be than at the feet of Jesus. The joy, peace, and comfort I have found at His feet is all I ever needed. He knew that, He did whatever it took to have me back.

I want to take this last paragraph to recommend a book that changed my life. It opened up my eyes to the truth. It pointed me to God’s word in such a beautiful way where I started reading the Bible as a love letter. A letter directly to me. You have to read this book, even though two married woman wrote it, (because I was hesitant to read it tbh I thought well they are married and im not) but they write with such love, humbleness, and realness. The book is called Spoken For by Alyssa Bethke and Robin Jones. Must read.

The Bible to me is not just a book, it’s my love letter, it’s where I come closer to God, where I get to know Him. My favorite scripture is Psalm 139. This is God telling me He knows me, He created me and nothing is a secret to Him. Wherever I go, whatever I say, He already knows it. So why should I worry about my future when I know who holds it! When I point my eyes to Jesus, when I stop looking left and right but look up to my creator, my beloved, my comforter, my peace, my joy, there really is no room for the enemy’s lies to set up tent in my heart. As soon as doubts and fears try to overflow me, I look up to Jesus and I am able to be still in His presence knowing that He has plans of Hope for my future, of prosperity(See, Jeremiah 29:11). I trust him completely knowing in his perfect timing He will unfold His plans for me. Through it all, I am just focusing on Him, on drawing close to Him (See, Hebrews 4:16)

I want to encourage you to dig through Scripture and take verses, chapters, anything that hits home, take it and make it yours as the Lord has given His word to us. Once you start meditating on these truths your focus will shift to seek the Lord and all His righteousness and everything will be added to you. This is a promise found in the Bible and I am writing to you as a single girl who has all her trust in the Almighty God that whatever is for me, He will provide. For now, I will just focus on loving him, serving him by serving my community, and preparing myself to be the wife God is making me to be. Walking by Faith and never by sight. (See Hebrews 11)

JLm&Y, thanks for reading!

imageAndrea

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A journey is when you go on a journey

What does it mean to mean something? it means that you mean what you mean. But, how do we know we really mean what we mean and what it means to mean something?

Well, that’s a glimpse of how I feel when I am doubtful, fearful, and wandering. I need an answer and I used to look everywhere for it. No one and nothing could give me the answer I was looking for.

Who do you go to when you doubt Jesus? You go to Jesus Himself and cry out to him, surely enough He answered me and I cannot wait to share real life stories with you. I will write about how Jesus’ hand moved in my brothers life from beginning to where He is now, (He is truly a miracle of God) How Jesus saved me from an undercover shoot out in Revere Ma that I innocently walked by. How He sustained me and held me through four years of college being an undocumented immigrant. How he took me and my family out of a flooded basement. How Jesus was with me in the train ride to high school my freshman year in New York and the things I saw there. How through all of life Jesus has always been there with me and if I had not seen it or felt it, that was all on me. But now, I see Him and feel him and all of what He’s done for me, He did it because He loves me and not because I lived a certain life style. The things I did, and do every day do NOT define who Jesus is and I hope that I can share that with you in case you did not know. I’m sorry if you have encountered a pastor or a leader that has made you doubt in your faith or has made you stumble leading you to walk away from the Lord. I hope that you stay with me and that you give me a read.

I pray over these words and all I want to be is a source for God to speak to your life through what He is done in mine. Jesus is Lord of steadfast love and He does not control us, He only loves us and sustains us. He makes the sun rise over good and evil. With that being said, I am nothing and no one. “Just an instrument in the hands of the greatest” (had to quote my fave rapper Lecrae) So yeah, I am no one really, I’m not so interesting and maybe my life could be boring at times so if I was going to talk all about me I probably would not have much to say. It’s Him, He is the one, He is everything and I want to take this resource to glorify Him and share with nonbelievers about what I found and what in His name I pray you are able to find as well and that you are able to believe also.

This blog is the beginning of a journey where I will intentionally document life moments where I find joy and also life moments where things are hard and it’s harder to find that joy that we are commanded to live with. I aim to be super real with whoever is reading this and that my journey can not only entertain you but mainly inspire you, help you, minister you in any way possible. If my contribution to your day is 2% then I’ll take that! I know that the Lord is good and my focus is to shadow him and be an example of what it’s like to put all your trust in Him.

So, welcome and I hope you join me every week for a glimpse of real in a world full of make believe. Thanks for reading, be blessed.

JLY&M

Mimy Andrea.